tutto a te mi guida

Going a darker more natural looking blonde. One more try and I think I’ll be the color I want. It’s just a bit too grey for me.

Feeling a bit better and received an apology.

Ugh, winter happened and I got so depressed. I have barely done anything for days and days. I just sit here listening to my Harry Potter audiobook pretty miserable. It’s distracting at least. My motivation is gone. My ambition is gone. It’s all I can do not to just lie in bed all day. I started a higher dose of my antidepressant last week, but there’s no knowing how long it will take to kick in. My house is a disaster, my clothes are all dirty. I have been managing to go to work at least. I’ve been putting on the bare minimum amount of makeup, brushing my hair, and putting on clothes at least. I wish I could just will myself out of it. Just snap out of it. I’m so sick of feeling like a lazy piece of shit. I used to kind of enjoy getting shit done like laundry and shopping, but now I can’t bear to leave the house. I just want to sleep 24/7. Please kick in antidepressant please please. It’s times like this that make me feel incapable of ever having a baby. I’m doing everything right. Taking my pills every day, I was even excercising and counting my calories, but it really doesn’t matter. Depression will hit when it fucking feels like it and there’s nothing you can do about it.

Well, I quit Ulta today. Friday sucked and then Monday sucked worse so I said screw it. Not worth it. Oh well, I guess. Never stepping foot in there again now though. Guess I’ll have to buy online, haha.

I am so proud! This is only my third week of exercising and I already hit my goal of working out 5 times in a week! I started out at three but I totally nailed it this week! Yay!